I have grown mature in the past years.
Should I go through this break-up a few years back, I would still be on my knees, begging for my ex to take me back, or to force him not to give up on us.
3 months, are long.
Time does fly really fast nowadays, but it doesn't seem so when you're heartbroken.
So, it has been a freaking long 3 months.
And yet I haven't been on my knees begging for him, not even once. I do say I still love him, but that's just it.
I love him but I don't want to get back together.
Through experiences, I learnt about myself. About the things I want from the person I want to be committed to, and also my capability to give to the person I want committed to. And you get to a point in life where you know what you want, and when you get any less than that, you walk away.
You walk away and never look back.
You can't spend the rest of your life committed to someone and not get what you want from that person, you will not be happy, you will resent your partner and at the end, you will turn bitter.
It's not easy, well never easy, to never look back. If you know me, I am someone who always looks back and try to find the cracks and then fix them. So, it takes all of me to never look back this time.
It's still hard, just look at me.
There are things that can't be fixed and the sooner you realize that, the better you are without those things. Especially when it comes to humans' traits. Some traits are like our second skin, so it's really hard to skin those traits off us. They can't be fixed. You'll have to either take it or leave it.
I left.
I wasn't proud of leaving my partner but goddamn proud of not looking back.
Because if I did, I wouldn't be in this happy place I am now.
Yes, I can confidently say now that I am in a better, happier place.
For leaving and never looking back, I know I have grown mature.
To know that no matter how much you love someone, if it doesn't work, and if it doesn't make you happy, there's nothing you can do to make it work so you walk away.
Because you also want the one that you walk away from to be happy, even if it's not with you.
That is.
