Hi,
Wow. It has come to this, hasn't it? Who would have thought.
The end probably requires a complex explanation but I will try.
I always believe that when one wants something, they will go after it. Even when the ways you have to use go against your values. It tramples your ego. It makes you cringe. Even when it nauseates you. You make an exception for whatever thing you want.
The same in relationship. I believe a relationship can always work, provided the involved parties do everything in their power to make it work. Giving up is always easy when the going gets tough, but you should love someone enough not to give up on them.
I take pride in not being a quitter. I always fight for the things/people I love to the very last fight. And if I stop, it means I have tried everything I can in my power and the other involved parties just don't want to co-operate and that leaves me with nothing. I can't work with nothing.
So is this. I have tried to understand you, I have tried to be there, I have tried to be nice and kind, I have helped you picked up the pieces, I have never ever given up on you. I pray for you, for us, every single day without fail. And then you gave me nothing. Na-da. Well maybe you gave me something, but it's not enough when I know you could have done better considering from past experiences prior to the recent incident.
Of course, I have my part in failing the relationship, being the younger one and an immature brat, the effort I put in maybe not up to your par. The things I did were not good enough. I know. It takes two to work a relationship, it also takes two to destroy it.
I take full responsibility of my part in failing the relationship. I also take full responsibility to calling it quits since you cannot decide. You know when you said whatever you want, this was initially my answer;
'I want this to work. I want you. I want to love you. I want you to make effort in spending time with me. I want you to apologize when you hurt my feelings. I want attention that isn't interrupted when we spend time together. I want you to put down your phone when I talk to you. I want you to want this.'
Then I figured out I already said those things to you so it actually didn't matter what I wanted. It was actually what you wanted. And you didn't want me because if you did, you would have said it.
So, I ended it.
I ended it because I believe you should be with someone whom you want to treat right. You should be with someone whom you can treat like they deserve you. I didn't get that from you towards the end. You were kind and loving and wonderful but then it disappeared.
I have never stopped loving you even after knowing those horrible things and should you tell me the truth, I would have loved you the same, if not more, never less, anyway.
I would have loved you.
I would have loved you.
I would have loved you.
Wahida R.
