I was so busy being angry and furious (and also trying to rationalize things), I forgot to grieve.
And now only I am starting to grieve, hence the recent posts. I tried to look at this thing in a positive light and think of the things I can gain from losing him.
Only worked for the first few weeks.
And now, it's already 1 month after, all I can think about is the things I lost.
Trust.
Love.
Honesty.
Commitment.
Him.
Myself.
My heart.
I am going full blast emo and all.
I just realized I lost a relationship I invested my time, effort, money, and most importantly, my heart.
I invested my heart in someone who in return, cracked it open and left it to disintegrate. And didn't even look back to see the damage he has done.
Didn't even bother to apologize for betraying my trust.
And this is where I question myself, how stupid I was not to see that coming.
I love(d) you and you used the love I had for you to your own benefits.
I love(d) you and look at what you had done to the love I showered you with.
Look at what you have done.
I hope you are proud of yourfuckingself.
Let me grieve.
